I learned
by creativewriter123
Summary: For you see this is a diary that I would hope one day to publish but for that to happen I need to make sure I document these "I learned.." correctly and remember every detail, every person that helped make these possible, you might laugh, you might smile.
1. Chapter 1

_**Prologue **_

_That moment, wiping the fresh tears streaming from my face with the back of my hand. You would think I was used to feeling alone, I was always over looked, I never felt like I belonged, changing schools was to help me gain friends but the fear of previous rejections haunted me from the chance of actually trying to reach out and talk to someone. How could i? I was always different, growing up I was only the small annoying little sister. I was always as they put it "the smart one" but when the only friends you know were books that was all I ever was, all I could ever be. From an early age was I bullied for it, but being defended by an older sister wasn't even helping the situation if anything made it worse but how was I to tell her to back off and let me fight my own battles, I couldn't so I endured being teased and occasionally threaten. I learned that I didn't answer the questions and kept my mouth shut the teasing seemed to stop. I was no longer the smart one after days of silence I was one of them, just like they wanted. I was…normal I wasn't the freaky genius girl I was plain, simple, plain. I wasn't me….but in this world you see I learned we had to blend in to survive at an early age. I learned that we must do things we don't want to do for other people to accept us, we are to like everyone else if not they would "nail down the nail that was standing up" and I was that nail…._

Hello my name is Clare Edwards, welcome to a side of me that many people don't know. This is the journey of my life. For you see this is a diary that I would hope one day to publish but for that to happen I need to make sure I document these "I learned.." correctly and remember every detail, every person that helped make these possible, you might laugh, you might smile, you might cry, you might be filled with rage, you might even be filled with pity for me, us… but just remember this: this is real whether you like it or not…

**Author's note: this was something I came up with and I really feel inspired to write. Please bear with me for ill try to load up chapters as soon as I type them but that would just depend on the feedback I get. **


	2. Chapter 2

_It was my 10__th__ birthday, now I was never one for wanting anything spectacular to celebrate with, but you would think I was hitting the double digits that it would be a big deal to my family. I awoke with the sun hitting my window allowing one of the rays to hit me in the face, letting go of an exhausted yawn, I jumped off the freshly tangled purple bedspread, I passed the full length window catching a slight glance of my aurbun curls in messy rugglets, my sleepy baby blue eyes were half open and half closed. I made my way down the stairs taking my sweet time going downstairs anxiously awaiting my family surrounded by the breakfast table ready to shout out a unison happy birthday like we did Darcy's. a fresh batch of white roses from my mothers garden(my favorite) adoring the table, maybe mom would surprise me by making my favorite kind of waffles, the regular ones! Dad, I imagined beaming proudly across the table at me as he put down the newspaper, Darcy she would joke around on how soon I'll be having my first crush. Stepping down the last few steps, I took note of the deadly silence around me soon enough a grin plastered upon my pale pink lips I slowly made my way to the kitchen letting a giggle escape. _

"_I wonder where is everyone?" I spoke out loud, trying to get them a heads up that I was downstairs and to get the last minutes preparations done. Waiting no longer I pounced on the kitchen titles and turned on the lights and…..nothing. My eyes were met with the normality that was the everyday kitchen. No waffles, no family, no fresh cut white roses, nothing. I step back and raced upstairs to see if maybe they slept in, it was Saturday! Sneaking a quick peek at Darcy's room I saw it was empty, making my room to my parents it was un vacant as well, puzzled I decided to go downstairs and watch the big screen TV. Trolling back down, I noticed I was thirsty so I opted in getting a Kool-Aid bottle with that in hand I spawned on the carpet, turned on the television to see some Saturday early morning cartoons, I lost trail of time, next thing I knew I passed out watching half of the SpongeBob episode when Sandy wants to go back to Texas (my favorite episode)….._

_I awoke a few hours later as I heard the sound of door sliding open, and others being slammed close, the car alarm beeping signaling that it was locked the laughter flowed to my ears I sat up, a smile came across my features as I waited for them to open the door to surprise me. First came in dad empty handed, then mom empty handed and finally Darcy aimlessly chatting away with a balloon tied around her wrist. Puzzled I cleared my throat all heads turned to me, I gave them a "well aren't you going to say something look" which they ignored. "Hey sweetie I see your awake" mom chirped. "Yes, where have you guys been all day I awoke and was met with an empty house" rubbing my neck I answered. "We went to the park early morning and we lost track of time so it seems right Randle?" dad nodded. "I see…well I was thinking that maybe we could go get some ice-" I began. "oh no Clare its late, and I'm tired maybe tomorrow okay?" mom kissed my forehead, I turned to dad"daddy we can-" "I can't clarebear I have to set in some reports, but I'll be done early enough to tuck you in I promise" ruffling my hair dad made his way to the home office in the far left of the house. Darcy gave me a small smile, poking my forehead and went upstairs. I sat and hugged my knees to my chest, they all forgot. They forgot my birthday with that thought in mind I turned off the television and began to make my way up the stairs to my room, leaving behind a silent trail of tears…._

I learned that what's important to you might not be important to other people, the world will NOT stop for you it will keep going and you must rotate with it….

**Author's note: sorry if it's sloppy, fighting sleep here I spent all day babysitting and this idea came to me and I just had to type it up before I left. Thanks for the review on the last chapter made me smile, keep them coming! :3**


	3. Chapter 3

_Pressing my face against the cold glass, I let a giggle escape form my lips. This was great! I couldn't imagine anything better than this, squinting my eyes, I began searching for the little furry creature, but as fate would have it, it blended well with its surroundings. Letting a playful sigh escape, I gently tapped the cubical container, slowing but surely a honey-colored head appeared from a far right corner, pushing some hay out of the way Mr. Whiskers appeared, shushing his nose as to say "hey what is this frizzy auburn hair girl ding awaking me from my slumber" smiling I waved and opened the top lid and scoped him out carefully as I could, remembering how Darcy took him out. Having him securely in my hands his soft fur hitting my hand did I begin to jump for joy, releasing him gently to the wooden ground beneath me, he began to start exploring the shared room of ours. Not thinking so much I let him roam freely as I began to open my cookies. Munching on one-my taste buds exploded, remembering what my mommy once told me "sharing is caring" and I cared for our pet hamster! So I chipped off a slide of my cookie, giving it to Mr. Whiskers._ _**Thump, thump. **__"I'm home!" Darcy exclaimed, not wanting to get into trouble I picked him up and place him into his cage quickly, shoving the remaining pieces of cookie into my mouth, I threw away the incriminating wrapper way I jumped onto the bed trying to act natural as I picked up a book pretending to be interested as the front doorknob juggled open revealing my 7year old sister smiling, she gave me a wave and ran towards the cage, tapping the glass window to only have no response. I began to panic only slightly, she then rashly opened the lid, her eyes scanning the container for any hint of movement, she found none, being curious as I was I hopped down the bed and stood next to her. "Clare" she asked "yes, Darcy" I squeaked. "Has Mr. Whiskers moved since I left for school, has he been acting funny at all?" biting my lip and shaking my head I responded with a quick no. Tears welded up her hazel eyes, as she picked him up slowly, mouth agape, my eyes flashed to the hamster, a pit of guilt rose to the pit of my stomach. "Darce?" I managed to choke out. "He's dead" she whispered, tears spilling out of her eyes. I began to tilt my head, mommy once told me death-was a sleep that no matter how hard you shook that someone one they wouldn't wake up, she said they were soooo tired that they slept for a really long time, that one day I'll be tired too and sleep and I would see them then. We could all sleep together. Darcy began to tear up more, I stood there dumbfounded at her, it is such a big deal he was just taking a long nap that was all. The next day we had what daddy called a funeral for Mr. Whiskers, all I remember was wearing a pretty black dress, my hair was held back by braid on both sides of my face, Darcy still crying and mommy rubbing her back, we each tossed a few pieces of chipped wood and Mr. Whiskers rolling ball into the clump of dirt. I tried to tell mommy he wouldn't be able to get out with all the dirt that daddy was placing on top; mommy just shook her head and kept on whispering into Darcy's ear._

_Now I know what death is, death is somewhat of a deep slumber. Death does not always happen at a certain age, it's not planned at all. Death is accidental, death happens almost if not every day. Death is not always peaceful; death is just another harsh way to not be able to say I'm sorry Mr. Whiskers…_

**Author's note: a quick one chap I wrote as I was waiting for my friend to get out of his class, he was my ride home btw THANK YOU TheAlievee- your reviews make me smile and it makes me feel like someone is actually taking time off their busy schedule to read this little drabbles, much appreciated. **


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